After a day of planning, working, saving, dreaming, fundraising and longing, I will fly to Bali to settle my study abroad volunteers, and I am now going home from "Paradise". However, I have never been so happy to stop traveling and I find it strange.
I have been back in the United States for three days. I'm going through the process of calling friends and family, getting emails and Facebook updates, and touching the base to show that I'm safe at home and my phone is working again. Of course, someone asked me, "How was your trip? It's so strange to want to scream" I hate it ".
Maybe I'm a painful loser. I'm lucky, my travel experience and many of my volunteer positions at home and abroad. I have invested too much time, money and emotion in this delivery clinic in Bali and am so passionate about having a great learning experience. The disappointment was a heavy blow. It's hard for me to deal with it, and it's even hard to feel like I can talk about the experience properly.
Should I say this trip as the luckiest girl and leave those pesky things behind me? Or should I tell the whole truth, even if I run the risk of sounding ungrateful?
When I sign up for this project, I look forward to working on my job. I was impressed that in addition to working for three online courses each week, I also planned to jump into a busy clinic. I thought I would work with a midwife in Bali every day, visit clients from morning to night, witness a large number of deliveries, and at least learn the theoretical elements of midwifery practice.
I got our group for a few weeks to discuss picky logistical issues (mostly I assume an organization that I will pay for), only three births, a few hours a week at the clinic, and a lot of naps.
Of course, I have to explore heaven. When I said I was dissatisfied with my experience, my friends frowned and mentioned the clear blue waters, smiley faces, and palm trees scattered on my Instagram feed. I wonder what I can complain about. Who doesn't want to stay on the beach for more than two months? What's wrong with me?
Should I just "suck it", talk about this trip as if I was the luckiest girl on earth (I often feel this way, my life is average), and rule out all the nasty bits? A little sad? Annoying bit? Is it possible to do this instead of feeling completely dishonest? Personally, I don't think so. These moments constitute most of my experience abroad.
I should tell everyone the whole truth, even if I risk not sounding grateful to my loved ones who haven't been on the beach for two months, but trying to build my own startup, finish school, raise children, etc.? Where does extreme honesty become a complaint?
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